Mr. Mojo - A Biography Of Jim Morrison - Dylan Jones

 MR. MOJO - A BIOGRAPHY OF JIM MORRISON -

DYLAN JONES

Dylan Jones is certainly a writer of repute, so much so that he's even been awarded an OBE for services to publishing. A major blot in his copybook, however, is that he wrote that book on David Cameron, imaginatively titled 'Cameron On Cameron'. I guess he deserves some kind of award though, simply for having spent time alone with Cameron and not ending up wanting to do away with him and feeding him to the pigs, as suggested by Brick Top, the gangster in Snatch when offering advice on the best way to dispose of a body.

Did you see what I did there? Linking David Cameron immediately to pigs? But enough about public school rituals, how about about linking Cameron to Jim Morrison of The Doors? Is there a commonality between the two apart from the Dylan Jones connection? Well, practically everyone in Jones' book on Morrison, again imaginatively titled Mr. Mojo - A Biography Of Jim Morrison, relays how Morrison was an extremely unlikeable character. So there's that for a start. In fact, the main thrust of Jones' book is one long exercise in character assassination to such an extent that the only people with anything good to say about Morrison are those who didn't actually know him. His fans for example, on their never-ending pilgrimage to his grave in Paris.

On reading Dylan Jones' book on Jim Morrison I'm left wondering what the point of it is? Was it written not to praise but to bury the legend? The answer is unequivocally in the affirmative. There are just too many quotes to attribute them individually but they're all along the lines of how Morrison was 'an asshole'. There are comments about his permanent body odour, of how 'common sense appeared to elude him', of how he might have been a pop genius but how he was also an 'amateur human being'. Comments are also made about him being 'a brat' and how 'humility was a trait which didn't sit well with Morrison'.

There are anecdotes about how backstage after concerts Morrison would flick lighted cigarettes at groupies and demand oral sex regardless of who was watching, as well as countless anecdotes in regard to his drunkenness.

'He was an alcoholic, plain and simple,' confirms the then-Elektra Records label Vice President Steve Harris 'It wasn't because of the pressure - if times were good he drank, if times were bad he drank. If the sun was shining he drank, if it was raining he drank. It was as simple as that. And yes, he was obnoxious. Some people are sweet drunks, but Jim was a redneck - gross, obnoxious and rude. You couldn't tell him anything; he was a complete sociopath.' 

And these are all things said, it should be stressed, by Morrison's friends.

Grace Slick offers a compliment but even then it's a backhanded one: 'He was a well-built boy,' she says 'His cock was slightly larger than average, and he was young enough to maintain the engorged silent connection right through the residue of chemicals that can threaten erection.'

Dylan Jones cuts to the chase, however, in his death by a thousand cuts strategy by letting us know that when asking for a blow job, Morrison would say 'Suck my mama'. I mean, do we really need to know this? I guess so.

If pop music is indeed an open prison for the maladjusted then Morrison was one of its primary inmates whose shadow still looms over us to this day. The issue here is that if we didn't have such people stepping up to take one for the team then we'd all still be listening to Glenn Miller and his Orchestra or the modern-day equivalent thereof.

Personally, I want my pop stars to be bloodied but unbowed with 'Gimme a fix' carved into their chest ala Sid Vicious. I want them sleeping in an oxygen tent at night and having sex with their pet monkey ala Michael Jackson. I want them driving their television sets into swimming pools and throwing their Rolls Royces' out of their hotel windows. I want intelligence, insight and beauty just as I want dumbness, stupidity and pug-ugliness. And personally, I want Jim Morrison even with all his 'asshole' behaviour, his rubbish poetry and his ego in leather trousers. I want the world, basically, as Morrison once sang. And I want it now. 

Though just to be clear, I can do without the David Cameron-types who whilst basking in unearned privilege try their utmost to bring rack and ruin to everything for everybody else. I only wish Dylan Jones had done as good a hatchet job on Cameron than he has on Morrison. Still, at least he got his OBE.

John Serpico